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"You shoulda seen that tornado, I thought we'd be killed or even worse...."

She thinks my tractors sexy....

Some folks suffer from "head trees." This fellow, Illinois Governor Rob Blagovich, has an especially aggrevated case. With truck-ticks. Also, he's gay. So says Albert.

A stop on the **** tour of America.

"How did that get there?"
"I don't know, a bird maybe?"
"A bird?!?! And just what sort of bird?"
"Sparrow?"
"A Sparrow?!?! Do you even know the wing speed velocity of a sparrow, it couldn't carry a coconut, let alone a truck."
"Depends, African or European Sparrow?"
"How the hell would an African or European Sparrow get to Pissville USA?"

see.. i told my truck that he shouldnt climb up there to get the neighbors cat, but he didnt listen, and now look at him... well - it feels good to say i told ya so, while i stand here with my open shirt exposing my pinicle of manliness --> chest hair and pecs, GAZE deeeep into them, and make a wish

And the tornado was just like...Gone...Blew my shirt....HOLY **** IS THAT MY TRUCK!?!