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inside the dev studio for duke nukem forever:
"week 306
i've finally seen daylight again after escaping from the marketing strategists' dungeon, but am still being pursued by a pack of wild accountants. the coding family i happened upon were a sight to see. after taking the above picture, i bribed one of their kin with the Laptop of Doom i'd stolen from the Game Developers' Monastery to provide me with food and lodging until i could finally make sense of the dev centre's Tour Guide. Alas, it was not to be, as a horde of barbarian programming analysts from the pre-Unreal days chose that day to sack the area, starting their rampage by trying to kill dear old me (as per usual) and then looting everything in sight when that didn't work. they did, however, do me a favor; the accountants tried to kill me then, taking advantage of the general hubbub to blindside me. if it hadn't been for their memorable warcry (in the name of the financial reporting standards committee!) i'd have been done for, since every barbarian turned around, sniffed the air, screamed "THE CORPORATE HORDE" and proceeded to charge and kill the accounting wilders. needless to say, wishing to avoid being embarrassed and skinned alive, i absconded and found shelter hiding under a desk in the cubicle farm just outside the creators' lair, the grotto of laziness. it is rumoured that there is a fire exit out of this place behind, if you can withstand the Curse of Laziness spell hanging around the air. interestingly, nobody has ever come back from the Lair, with rumours of people having been fired (using gasoline or 'dragon's breath' napalm) and/or making it through the door, though the Curse is said to be powerful enough to have stopped HR managers, those evil overlords of the underrealms, from eating the souls of employees and breathing hydrochloric acid on the dignity of their underlings through sheer laziness, causing them to wither and die. well, i guess i shall have to find out the truth tomorrow. if anything, it's finally a chance to score some of the stuff the duke nukem forever developers have been smoking and, maybe, just maybe, lift the curse of the marooned super-project."