He's not with me. I don't know him.

What is YOUR Explanation?

Are You A Zombie?

Other's Explanations

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  He's not with me. I don't know him.

• thumb_up thumb_down +119

  I woke just up. My car is gone. My money is gone and my clothes are gone. Really, And somehow the fire department is involved. I don't know what happen.

• thumb_up thumb_down +108

  Hey man, I don't think you're pick up advice is working...

• thumb_up thumb_down +101

  Dude, I met her on craigslist and she cleaned me out!

• thumb_up thumb_down +93

  Yeah yeah, I know I that lost my asss in that deal yesterday. Herb, no, I am not crazy! ... Now I need money for 500 shares of AOL, 1000 shares of Netscape, and 5000 shares of Myspace. What? Nooo, really, she has valuable inside information that they will all soon be in great demand again.

• thumb_up thumb_down +89

  Hello? Can you hear me now? ... Good. Can you see me? GOOD!

• thumb_up thumb_down +88

  Simon Broose at it again...

• thumb_up thumb_down +87

  there is no fire? shit , I'm coming back!

• thumb_up thumb_down +82

  Depends! No dumbass, all I'm wearing is depends!!!

• thumb_up thumb_down +79

  Man, trust me when I say that, SHE IS THE BEST POKER PLAYER I EVER SAW!

• thumb_up thumb_down +77

  It looks like he is using an ice-cream sandwich as his cell phone.

• thumb_up thumb_down +77

  what did i forget this morning?

• thumb_up thumb_down +76

  The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Benjamin Button

• thumb_up thumb_down +75

  First time Domme win!

• thumb_up thumb_down +72

  "Yeah, Mom, it happened again..."

• thumb_up thumb_down +70

  Yeah, it's happened again...yeah, I know I shouldn't have had the beetroot... no, I threw the undies away... no, no it's ok there was a lady here who had a spare Huggeez size 18 in her handbag.. yeah kind of lucky wasn't it...

• thumb_up thumb_down +68

  what? So they do make adult diapers! And mother said id hav to start using the toilet

• thumb_up thumb_down +68

  Hang on honey, my phone is ringing. "Hello. WHAT? YOU'RE SHITTIN' ME!!!"

• thumb_up thumb_down +66

  What a bitch. She's not even wearing her jacket but wont lend it to him anyway...

• thumb_up thumb_down +64

  MOM ,can you come pick me up?

• thumb_up thumb_down +63

  "no, I'm telling you. She's prime for the picking..."

• thumb_up thumb_down +60

  ..and now I have to walk home because Mike Tyson's tiger is in my minivan. What a fuckin' night..

• thumb_up thumb_down +48

  I can't find my glasses! I even take my clothes off but i can't find anywhere!